man, girls be messin everything up!

Ah, the sweet, sweet sound of abstinence class...

I don't mean to offend any of my more... conservative... readers. We already know I am, well, not, so we know we'll disagree. Let's get over it.

I find the whole idea of teaching students who are knee deep in the trenches of sex that abstinence is the only answer to be absurd. I wholeheartedly agree that my students should understand that implications of sex. I think they should know that the consequences of sex will obscure their dreams, stymie their ambitions, and obfuscate their hopes of being an NBA star, an MLB player, or Chris Brown's wife. I think they should know that syphilis, AIDS, and gonorrhea will make their lives a living hell. I think they should know what my infinitely wise doctor sister once said: "there are some really pretty boys with herpes...". I think they should understand what pregnancy really means. I think they should be educated about the social, emotional, and metal pressures and consequences of sex. I think they should know the meaning of the words penis, vagina, ejaculate, sex, condom, and orgasm and be able to say them all with a straight face. I think they should not have sex.

But they do.
And they will.

And I think it is our job as educators to EDUCATE.

Not only to educate about what we believe to be the best choice, or the morally correct choice, but to educate about all the choices. If we are saying (as we do every day) "you are old enough to do this" and "you are at the point where you need to start being responsible for your decisions", then we need to admit that

a) my 6th grade students are at the place in their lives where they have been, are, or will soon be faced with the pressure to have, discuss, and think about sex.

b) if we don't give them the information they need, they WILL get it from somewhere and someone else (and you probably don't want to know the details of that!)

I believe that it is our obligation to give our children the information they need to make informed and responsible decisions. It is important that we are honest with ourselves about the situations they face and the fact that they need to be able to make the best decision for the situation that they are in. If my students are going to have sex (and they probably will, within the next few years), then I want them to know that although it may not be the best choice they may ever make, that they can make it safely.

So...
Bring on our bodies ourselves.
Talk openly about your feelings and your needs.
Think about the implication of your decisions.
Keep a condom in your purse.
Know how to say no if you mean it, and stop if you want to.
Take your birth control regularly.
Know that abstinence is the only real protection.
Find other things that make you feel fulfilled.
Never forget that it's your body, your decision, and your right to choose who you are today,
tomorrow, and next month (even if those aren't the same person)

and please, please... retain a bit of your embarassment (it means you aren't totally comfortable). Here's a snippet from today's class (in addition to the quote in the title):

teacher (not me): So how exactly do you get pregnant?
*giggles all around*
student 1: sex
student 2: UNPROTECTED sex
student 3: Aw no. I can't tell him THAT. Aw, no. Not with Ms. K. around. Shut your ears. Cover your ears, Ms. K. Aw, no!

yo habla espanol

Please explain to me why one of my students' science papers had one (correct) answer written neatly among the others.... in perfect Spanish.

He doesn't speak Spanish.


And yet there it was--

translation: a physical property is something that can be observed without changing the object, like color, size, and shape.

weird.

i think it's taken over my life...

My life has always been education. It runs deep in my veins. My mom is a teacher. My dad is a teacher. My step-mom is a teacher. My step-dad is a teacher. I am a teacher. I long expected teaching to take over my life-- it's almost as if I have no choice-- I have never wanted to be anything else, and despite my difficulties this year, I am not happy doing anything else.

But I never, I repeat, NEVER, gave education permission to take over my apartment. There are teacher's editions on my dining room table, discipline books on my coffee table, supplemental materials on my study floor, lesson plans on my desk, school dates on my calendar, ungraded papers on my bedroom floor, and versa-tiles mixed in with my scrabble and boggle games.

I have come the decision that I need a school office. With a door. A door that shuts and locks. A door that can contain the multitude of THINGS that come along with being a teacher. I am thinking of buying next year (a grown-up step), and I have decided that an office with a door is an non-negotiable.

I know I can not block out the thoughts that come pouring out without cease-- discipline plans while I eat, science activities while I shower, math enrichment ideas while I put cream cheese on my bagel, but at least, at LEAST (hopefully) I can keep all the crap in one room and shut the door.

Victory is mine!

I had a sub today. A sub that came one and a half hours late so I could show up one hour late to a three hour PD that was worth about 15 seconds of my time. (on the plus side, I graded papers straight through the PD and actually got a lot of work done in the afternoon)

Meanwhile, in room 309...

My children were hooligans. By hooligans I mean out of their seat, not doing their work, yelling and screaming and (wait for it...) standing on desks, dancing, and jumping off HOOLIGANS. Which actually makes me laugh. Not in a happy way, but because my brain immediately responded to this with "well, at least they don't do THAT for you". Victory is mine. I walked into the room, said nothing, and the hooligans shut their mouths, stopped running around, and immediately returned to their desks. That, my friends, is a small victory.

I would, however, like to take a moment to rant. There are so many things I would like to rant about that it is hard to choose one, but choose I must, and choose I will. I hate that there is no community in my school. I feel like the teachers try (to come extent) to create one, but that the administration really does not support those efforts, and that without that community, the school is a lost cause. How can you support students fully when the staff is not being supported? How can there be growth across grade levels when there is no communication?

Any suggestions?

a looong day, but a good one.

I am a lucky, lucky Lou!

It was a rough day today... a rough day that seemed all the more rough after yesterday. It seems that in the glory of a fall break (hooray for year round schools!), my students have forgotten how to act like students instead of hooligans.

Aah, the things that I have already learned this year. It seems so easy to underestimate the importance of establishing and practicing routines-- for those of us who have grown up in routine oriented households with clear expectations and consequences, these things are second nature, not something to be learned. It becomes more and more clear every day that everything I do must be based on explicit instruction. Most, if not all of my students have had few consequences, and the consequences that they have experienced are far from consistent. Most have never been taught to take responsibility for their own actions (e.g. "He was talking too." or "I wasn't talking" or "Man, why you always picking on me" or my favorite, which I got to hear today- "Man, you bogus, Ms. K.")

I am bogus. I expect them to learn. I must do my best to remember that in many ways, I am parent first, teacher second.

But that was not my point.

In our Monday staff meeting (have I mentioned that I hate morning staff meetings? I guard my mornings preciously), we were informed that three of our staff members were needed to "volunteer" for after hours writing PD. "Hmmm," I thought "after school (no need to leave my students with a sub- hooray), paid professional development, writing instruction, the chance to be a better teacher... what can I lose?" I jumped. I guess it wasn't really much of a jump, since no one else was volunteering, but I volunteered.

And I am so glad I did.

Turns out, what I unknowingly volunteered myself for was to become a "model classroom" for the writer's workshop approach. Many of you are familiar with this methodology, but it is pretty much uncharted territory for me. In being a "model classroom", I agree to attend two and a half hours of paid PD once a month from now until August. In this PD, I will be trained and given the opportunity to reflect and respond to the Lucy Calkins approach to WWS. In addition to the 2.5 hours after school, I am also expected to share my growing knowledge with the other teachers in my classroom a minimum of one time per quarter. In exchange for these two "sacrifices", I receive training that will help me be a better teacher, pay for my time, and the complete set of Lucy Calkins middle grades writers workshop books FREE!

OOOOOh that makes me happy! I feel so energized by the information I gained today! I can't wait to get my WNB, read up on the sessions, and get my kiddos making lists and writing! I am only a little nervous about the response from my administration-- So far this year, the focus has been clearly limited to teaching to the test.

*warning- sarcasm ahead* As we are on probation, there is only time for reading and math, and even that is very directed for me (but more on that another day-- it makes me feel negative, and I'm currently enjoying floating in the clouds)...

How I miss the days with Mr. B, where my teaching and creativity were encouraged and developed. (credit where credit is due). I'll work it in. I truly believe that quality instruction creates quality results. That I KNOW I can do.

Let the quality instruction begin.

Reflecting on Fever

We caught the fever!

Just before break, my students (my kids is what they end up being called more often) finished the novel Fever, 1793 by Laurie Halse Anderson. It was an accomplishment, a larger novel than most of them had ever finished, and although they did not all pass the AR test with flying colors, I walked away with the feeling of something achieved.


At the beginning of the year, I quickly realized that my dream classroom would not be immediately realized in the environment I was in. All my thoughts of cooperative learning and multiple activities, structured group work and individualized lessons was put on hold (and the vast majority of those ideas remain on hold). This particular group of students has never worked together as a team, has no real sense of cohesiveness, and exists in an environment where bonds are formed and broken daily, where the only real loyalty is the loyalty you must have to yourself-- the sworn promise to protect yourself at all costs.


It was thus hesitantly that put them in groups on Friday. Their instructions were to create an image of a person by outlining one of their group members. Each part of the outline was to contain specific information, drafted and approved by me before being transferred to the outline. The body parts/instructions were as follows:

head = the main character's thoughts in the beginning, middle, and end of the book
(or the character's DEVELOPMENT)

torso = title, author, and genre

abdomen = plot diagram

arm 1 = timeline with at least five major events

arm 2 = at least seven character traits describing the main character

leg 1 = rating (one for each group member or one that all can agree on)

leg 2 = summary

The results were amazing! Although my darlings do not know how to summarize and have reading and ability levels much below grade level, they worked diligently and took pride and ownership in their creations! They seemed nervous as we posted them in the hall, and remarked that they hoped the other students wouldn't ruin their work. They worked (mostly) productively in groups, with only one major conflict (and at least there was no swearing or physical violence), and I felt... PROUD at the end of the day.

This is why I teach.

the anxiety returns...

After a weekend of fun with close friends, and two weeks free of school, I spent the evening being sure I am prepared for tomorrow. And by prepared I mean ready with a clearly defined schedule of every minute and at least two back up activities.

I'm getting the hang of it now.

Still, even with the preparation and the knowledge that I AM AN EXCELLENT TEACHER, the anxiety returns. It's not as much fear anymore, more a subtle gnawing at the back of my mind. What will tomorrow hold, and how will you respond to it?

Somehow, it's becoming more like a game.