i think it's taken over my life...

My life has always been education. It runs deep in my veins. My mom is a teacher. My dad is a teacher. My step-mom is a teacher. My step-dad is a teacher. I am a teacher. I long expected teaching to take over my life-- it's almost as if I have no choice-- I have never wanted to be anything else, and despite my difficulties this year, I am not happy doing anything else.

But I never, I repeat, NEVER, gave education permission to take over my apartment. There are teacher's editions on my dining room table, discipline books on my coffee table, supplemental materials on my study floor, lesson plans on my desk, school dates on my calendar, ungraded papers on my bedroom floor, and versa-tiles mixed in with my scrabble and boggle games.

I have come the decision that I need a school office. With a door. A door that shuts and locks. A door that can contain the multitude of THINGS that come along with being a teacher. I am thinking of buying next year (a grown-up step), and I have decided that an office with a door is an non-negotiable.

I know I can not block out the thoughts that come pouring out without cease-- discipline plans while I eat, science activities while I shower, math enrichment ideas while I put cream cheese on my bagel, but at least, at LEAST (hopefully) I can keep all the crap in one room and shut the door.

Victory is mine!

I had a sub today. A sub that came one and a half hours late so I could show up one hour late to a three hour PD that was worth about 15 seconds of my time. (on the plus side, I graded papers straight through the PD and actually got a lot of work done in the afternoon)

Meanwhile, in room 309...

My children were hooligans. By hooligans I mean out of their seat, not doing their work, yelling and screaming and (wait for it...) standing on desks, dancing, and jumping off HOOLIGANS. Which actually makes me laugh. Not in a happy way, but because my brain immediately responded to this with "well, at least they don't do THAT for you". Victory is mine. I walked into the room, said nothing, and the hooligans shut their mouths, stopped running around, and immediately returned to their desks. That, my friends, is a small victory.

I would, however, like to take a moment to rant. There are so many things I would like to rant about that it is hard to choose one, but choose I must, and choose I will. I hate that there is no community in my school. I feel like the teachers try (to come extent) to create one, but that the administration really does not support those efforts, and that without that community, the school is a lost cause. How can you support students fully when the staff is not being supported? How can there be growth across grade levels when there is no communication?

Any suggestions?

a looong day, but a good one.

I am a lucky, lucky Lou!

It was a rough day today... a rough day that seemed all the more rough after yesterday. It seems that in the glory of a fall break (hooray for year round schools!), my students have forgotten how to act like students instead of hooligans.

Aah, the things that I have already learned this year. It seems so easy to underestimate the importance of establishing and practicing routines-- for those of us who have grown up in routine oriented households with clear expectations and consequences, these things are second nature, not something to be learned. It becomes more and more clear every day that everything I do must be based on explicit instruction. Most, if not all of my students have had few consequences, and the consequences that they have experienced are far from consistent. Most have never been taught to take responsibility for their own actions (e.g. "He was talking too." or "I wasn't talking" or "Man, why you always picking on me" or my favorite, which I got to hear today- "Man, you bogus, Ms. K.")

I am bogus. I expect them to learn. I must do my best to remember that in many ways, I am parent first, teacher second.

But that was not my point.

In our Monday staff meeting (have I mentioned that I hate morning staff meetings? I guard my mornings preciously), we were informed that three of our staff members were needed to "volunteer" for after hours writing PD. "Hmmm," I thought "after school (no need to leave my students with a sub- hooray), paid professional development, writing instruction, the chance to be a better teacher... what can I lose?" I jumped. I guess it wasn't really much of a jump, since no one else was volunteering, but I volunteered.

And I am so glad I did.

Turns out, what I unknowingly volunteered myself for was to become a "model classroom" for the writer's workshop approach. Many of you are familiar with this methodology, but it is pretty much uncharted territory for me. In being a "model classroom", I agree to attend two and a half hours of paid PD once a month from now until August. In this PD, I will be trained and given the opportunity to reflect and respond to the Lucy Calkins approach to WWS. In addition to the 2.5 hours after school, I am also expected to share my growing knowledge with the other teachers in my classroom a minimum of one time per quarter. In exchange for these two "sacrifices", I receive training that will help me be a better teacher, pay for my time, and the complete set of Lucy Calkins middle grades writers workshop books FREE!

OOOOOh that makes me happy! I feel so energized by the information I gained today! I can't wait to get my WNB, read up on the sessions, and get my kiddos making lists and writing! I am only a little nervous about the response from my administration-- So far this year, the focus has been clearly limited to teaching to the test.

*warning- sarcasm ahead* As we are on probation, there is only time for reading and math, and even that is very directed for me (but more on that another day-- it makes me feel negative, and I'm currently enjoying floating in the clouds)...

How I miss the days with Mr. B, where my teaching and creativity were encouraged and developed. (credit where credit is due). I'll work it in. I truly believe that quality instruction creates quality results. That I KNOW I can do.

Let the quality instruction begin.

Reflecting on Fever

We caught the fever!

Just before break, my students (my kids is what they end up being called more often) finished the novel Fever, 1793 by Laurie Halse Anderson. It was an accomplishment, a larger novel than most of them had ever finished, and although they did not all pass the AR test with flying colors, I walked away with the feeling of something achieved.


At the beginning of the year, I quickly realized that my dream classroom would not be immediately realized in the environment I was in. All my thoughts of cooperative learning and multiple activities, structured group work and individualized lessons was put on hold (and the vast majority of those ideas remain on hold). This particular group of students has never worked together as a team, has no real sense of cohesiveness, and exists in an environment where bonds are formed and broken daily, where the only real loyalty is the loyalty you must have to yourself-- the sworn promise to protect yourself at all costs.


It was thus hesitantly that put them in groups on Friday. Their instructions were to create an image of a person by outlining one of their group members. Each part of the outline was to contain specific information, drafted and approved by me before being transferred to the outline. The body parts/instructions were as follows:

head = the main character's thoughts in the beginning, middle, and end of the book
(or the character's DEVELOPMENT)

torso = title, author, and genre

abdomen = plot diagram

arm 1 = timeline with at least five major events

arm 2 = at least seven character traits describing the main character

leg 1 = rating (one for each group member or one that all can agree on)

leg 2 = summary

The results were amazing! Although my darlings do not know how to summarize and have reading and ability levels much below grade level, they worked diligently and took pride and ownership in their creations! They seemed nervous as we posted them in the hall, and remarked that they hoped the other students wouldn't ruin their work. They worked (mostly) productively in groups, with only one major conflict (and at least there was no swearing or physical violence), and I felt... PROUD at the end of the day.

This is why I teach.

the anxiety returns...

After a weekend of fun with close friends, and two weeks free of school, I spent the evening being sure I am prepared for tomorrow. And by prepared I mean ready with a clearly defined schedule of every minute and at least two back up activities.

I'm getting the hang of it now.

Still, even with the preparation and the knowledge that I AM AN EXCELLENT TEACHER, the anxiety returns. It's not as much fear anymore, more a subtle gnawing at the back of my mind. What will tomorrow hold, and how will you respond to it?

Somehow, it's becoming more like a game.

A random sampling...

It seems as though there should be a better way to begin a first blog-- maybe by telling you about my students' racial and socio-economic status, or by detailing that leadership and goals of my school. Perhaps defining my own purpose as an educator or enlightening you as to my own political or educational ideas and ideals. But I won't. Instead, I will provide you with a random sampling of my students' work in the last weeks. I think it will be just as illuminating.

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Question: If you were in Mattie's shoes at the end of p.168, what do you think you would do?

Answer: I will try to get out of her shoes very quick.

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Question: There are several different settings in this book. Which do you think is most
important, and why?

Answer: It is important because you will have to take a test and not know where the setting
was and you might wright any thing and get it wrong.

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Question: If Sue spent $10.25 at the movies, but brought $15 with her, did she have enough to
buy a book that cost $3.29 on the way home? Explain.

Answer: Will you have to add the problem.

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Amen.